Those Left Behind
by goolcaptain
Summary: Another happy sequal. Vampbuffy has been resouled and had to kill vampGiles, then stepped into the sunlight in despair. But there's ALWAYS a way back...


Summary; A comeback to all suicide fics! This is a happy sequal to a fic I read recently called 'Dream Floating' or something similar where vamped re-souled Buffy kills vamped Giles then kills herself as she cannot live with the pain (I'd be grateful if someone could name it for me). I hate Buff suicide fics and they're so damned common. Like a disease. So here's the cure.

Rating; PG13

Pairing; Buff/Xander/Willow

Disclaimer; these characters belong solely to Mutant Enemy Productions and not me and this is purely a non-profit fic.

Distribution; take what you like

Feedback; Left Behind

They stood unable to move as she stepped into the sunlight and burst into flames.

It hurt a lot. Not as much as her heart did but it hurt a lot. But it would be all over soon. She could hear them shrieking behind her, beginning to move towards her, the beginnings of a chant on Willow's lips. But they wouldn't be quick enough. This would only take seconds. She'd be with him soon.

And there he was. Large as life as he stood in front of her, raising his arms to embrace her. They would be together soon, together forever. He was saying something, something she couldn't hear over the screaming, some of which was hers but it didn't matter. What mattered was that she would be in his arms.

She couldn't comprehend it when he pushed her backwards into the shadows.

"JESUS!" Xander exclaimed leaping on her, smothering out the flames with his body. She struggled, she cried, she yelled but to no avail. When the blackness descended on her she thought she had succeeded but she could still hear their voices. She felt the weight on her face and realised it was actually Spike's coat that was covering her.

She curled up into a ball and welcomed the unconsciousness that followed.

"I'm here Buff" Willow placed her hand on Buffy's brow, wiping away the sweat. "So strange that vampires sweat" she thought. Buffy was still icy cold but it had to be some sort of lingering human response they retained, like coughing. And dreaming.

Buffy flopped back onto the Xander's chest and Willow once again rested her head on her breast. Her hands explored Buffy's skin again, finding a few remaining burnt areas. She looked her in the eye.

"You need to heal more"

"I'm fine" Buffy replied without enthusiasm.

"Angel will be here with the Mohra demon blood tomorrow" Xander pointed out, "You have to be healed up by then, before we turn you human"

"Slayer healing will take care of that"

"We don't know that" Willow stated firmly. "You've got to feed"

"Leave me alone" Buffy turned over and buried her head in Xander's chest. She would run away but she couldn't bear to sleep by herself anymore. To share Xander and Willow's warmth, to feel their hearts beating and enjoy the illusion that it was her own was the only thing that got her through the night.

Xander and Willow traded a look. Silently he took Buffy by the arms and sat her up.

Behind her she felt Xander's firm muscled body, she could break his grip at any time but lacked the will to.

Willow leaned forward and kissed her before resting her head on Buffy's shoulder, placing her neck firmly against Buffy's lips.

"Unfair" Buffy protested.

"Bite me!" Same joke, every time!

"I'm hurting you" It was feeble but it was all she had.

"I've eaten half the iron pills in Sunnydale and Xander had the other half. We don't mind"

She couldn't resist. She could sense the blood pulsing in Willow's neck, warm and rich. How did Angel deny it to himself? She wanted it desperately, could never get enough, felt the aching hunger well up within her, her mouth salivating at the prospect. She vamped out and gave Willow an almost playful nip with her fangs, resting them on her flesh without breaking the skin. She relished this moment of anticipation.

"Do it, do it" Willow begged.

Buffy bit down hard and sucked.

She finally broke away from Xander's shoulder, licking the final traces of blood from the slight wound she had inflicted. He was getting very musclely these days, probably through work. She leaned back and looked at them closely. They both looked pale, tired. By contrast she felt endlessly invigorated by their blood.

They tasted so different. Perhaps Willow was kosher? She far preferred Dawn's blood over either of them, perhaps because it was so similar to her own, perhaps the Key energy gave it that extra kick. She didn't like to think of Spike's suggestion that it was because Dawn was still a virgin. Besides, since Dawn had fainted in gym class she'd forbidden herself to take any more.

"Tell us about you dream?" Xander asked.

She told them. It was obvious they hadn't seen Giles' ghost, only she had had the vision. When she was finished they just looked at her. "What do you think it means?" Willow asked at last.

Buffy swallowed. Her voice was brittle. "It means I must be a very evil, worthless person if he didn't want me in heaven with him" Her eyes filled with tears.

"YOU BITCH!" Willow screamed at her. She slapped her again and again, raining blows down upon her. Buffy didn't even think to fight, going into the foetal position as Xander pulled Willow away with all his strength. But he couldn't stop her talking.

"YOU BITCH! YOU EVIL SELFISH BITCH! You wanted to throw away your life! Don't you think Jesse wanted to live? Don't you think Larry and Harmony and Jenny all wanted to live?"

"I just couldn't go on without him" Buffy whimpered. "I just couldn't take all the pain"

Willow's voice softened but her words were just as wounding. "What about our pain? We loved him too and now we were going to lose you as well? How could we have gone on? What about all the people you save?"

"Are they worth saving?" Buffy questioned miserably.

"If only one is, then they all are, they're all worth it" For a man who failed every English exam Xander had a hell of a way with words.

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry Buffy" Xander let Willow go and she grabbed Buffy around the shoulders. "Be happy. Live for us. Live for them" Her hands cradled Buffy's head, cupping her cold dead flesh. "Live for yourself. We love you. Be worthy of our love!"

She couldn't answer.

And there he was. Large as life as he stood in front of her, raising his arms to embrace her. They would be together soon, together forever. He was saying something, something she couldn't hear over the screaming some of which was hers but it didn't matter. What mattered was that she would be in his arms.

She felt his arms touch her, sensation only, no pressure, no substance, no power there. She heard his voice in her ears, heard it over the flames and the screaming and the crackle as her own flesh burned.

"Live for me"

She stepped back into the shadows.

"Jesus!" Xander exclaimed, leaping onto her, smothering out the flames with his own body.

Buffy awakened. Xander and Willow lay either side of her, sleeping fitfully. She could hear Dawn talking in her sleep in the next room, murmuring about mom. She could hear Ethan Rayne downstairs making himself yet another cup of tea as he tried to cram 20years of Watcher training into a few weeks.

She could sense the sun straining at the curtains but it held no fear for her anymore. She longed to bathe her skin in it's warm embrace once more, longed to feel her heart beat once more, to have her own blood rush through her veins, to look in the mirror and see her imperceptibly older reflection peer back at her.

She would live for him. She would live for her friends and her family. And she would live for the countless faceless strangers she saved, good or bad, all deserved to live their lives and find their own way in the vivid, painful, glorious world.

As did she.

She hugged Xander and Willow closer. "Hurry up with that Mohra blood Angel" she thought, "I've got a lot of living to do"


End file.
